Between late-night decisions, ionate reunions, and occasional mishaps, there’s no shortage of horrifying hook-up stories to emerge from student bedrooms.
We’ve gathered some outrageous tales from students, showcasing the unforgettable (and sometimes unmentionable) moments that come with navigating intimacy in university. Whether they serve as lessons, laughs, or simply wild anecdotes, these stories are sure to leave an impression—just like the events they recount.
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“During reading week, my boyfriend came to visit me in Kingston after two months of long distance. After his long travel day, we went to bed and got right down to business. I was on top, but after about 30 seconds of actual penetration, he pushed me off and silently ran out of the room.
Confused, I turned on the light and was shocked to see myself and the bed completely covered in blood—it looked like I had been shot. Concerned, I went to check on him in the bathroom, towel in hand, assuming I’d maybe started my period early.
A quick Google search and closer inspection revealed the culprit: A torn penile frenulum.
It took two loads of laundry, some careful Polysporin application in unconventional places, and a week of celibacy to recover. But in the end, we finally got the reunion we’d been looking forward to.”
—Anonymous, ArtSci ’25
“Last year, I was seeing a girl for about a month, and things were starting to get more serious. She had met most of my housemates, and one evening, she came over to watch a movie.
We had just begun hooking up when I heard my housemates return from a night out at the Ale House. Their loud chatter in the hallway was a little distracting, but I didn’t think much of it.
A few minutes later, I heard a thud—one of my housemates drunkenly tripped in the hallway and crashed right into my door. To my dismay, the door was unlocked (a huge oversight), and he stumbled straight into my room, barely missing the edge of the bed.
I sprang into action, pulling a blanket over both of us and yelling at him to leave. Completely hammered, he found the whole thing hilarious and lingered far longer than he should have, laughing until he finally closed the door behind him.
We all ended up laughing about it eventually, but I’ll never forget the look on their faces in that moment.”
—Anonymous, ArtSci ’26
“My first time didn’t exactly end with a bang. When things kicked off, I was nervous, but excited to see what all the fuss was about. It’s safe to say it didn’t quite live up to the hype.
The problem wasn’t the start, but rather, the long, long, journey to the end.
Things began well, but after 45 minutes of thrusting that was beginning to get raw and painful, there was no finish line in sight for him, and certainly not for me. Eventually, we decided to stop.
Thinking I had done something wrong, in my no-longer-virgin naivety, asked whether that was the type of thing that usually happened during sex, and what I could do to “improve” for next time (nothing!). He answered that he had only orgasmed with a real-life partner less than 5 times in his life, because of his addiction to intense porn, but gave me some “pointers” I could use to improve.
It’s safe to say we never went for round two.”
—Anonymous, ArtSci ’25
“I was casually hooking up with a boy for a few months last year. On one specific hookup, things got really steamy, and after we both finished, I tasked him with getting me a tissue to clean up. But when he turned the light on, we both froze—a tissue wasn’t going to cut it.
There was blood everywhere, and we both began panicking. I looked down and realized what had happened: The charm on my bellybutton ring had come unscrewed during all the action, and it had somehow managed to slice his foreskin. To this day, I’m still baffled at how he didn’t feel the cut right away.
What followed was a blur of adrenaline as I helped him clean up and drove him to KGH. We spent the rest of the night in the Emergency Room, exchanging awkward small talk.
We never really spoke about the situation afterward, and to no one’s surprise, we stopped sleeping together after that.”
—Anonymous, ArtSci ’25
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