First-born daughters undergo early puberty when their mothers are stressed during pregnancy, shedding truth behind the “eldest daughter syndrome” trend on social media.
But the oldest daughter’s conditioning from conception until maturity could also largely predetermine the economic burdens she faces later in life.
Eldest daughter behaviour is marked by perfectionism, parentification, and emotional suppression.
Actors on TikTok like Vienna Ayla create satirical “oldest daughter” characters who exhibit these behaviors. Ayla’s character plans her own funeral, sleeps by the door to avoid missing a trip, and ends up therapizing her therapist.
“Am I bossy… or am I just always right?” Ayla says in a skit.
Eldest daughters exhibit an overwhelming “sense of responsibility” for the well-being of the family, taking on adult responsibilities in the household, the UCLA study said.
When mothers undergo prenatal stress or mental health difficulties, the daughter’s early maturation could help her raise subsequent children.
The economic burden of the oldest daughter manifests in an outsized responsibility for household care.
“The economic value of the eldest daughter ties into the broad issue of the undervaluing of care and domestic labour—usually undertaken by women in society,” Yang Hu, professor of global sociology at Lancaster University, said in an email to The Journal.
First-born daughters are most likely to mirror their mother’s behaviours, which could mean they’re prone to take interest in household tasks, Hu said, which is a clear example of the behavioural role modelling theory. Girls between five and 14 years old spend 40 per cent more time than boys on domestic work, a UNICEF study found.
When working mothers have less time for household tasks, they tend to fall on the shoulders of the oldest daughter because of labour substitution theory, according to Hu’s research.
“Girl children are usually given more chores. More responsibility for siblings, higher expectations for academic performance, and more expectations about (thin) weight, food, hygiene, appearance, and many others,” Sari van Anders, a professor of psychology at Queen’s University, said in an email.
Women tend to categorize self-care as a luxury rather than a priority when compared to men, a study from the MIT AgeLab found.
“That means when women think about taking care of people, that gets socialized as being more important than their own needs or their own aspirations,” Adam Felts, a research associate at the MIT AgeLab said in an interview with The Journal.
Seventy-five per cent of unpaid caregivers of aging parents are women, according to Felts.
The first-born child, of either gender, is twice as likely to take on the role. There’s a significant financial burden to being an unpaid caregiver, and career implications too. Unpaid caregivers in the US lost on average $304,000 in wages and benefits over their lifetime, according to a MetLife study from 2011.
Women and oldest siblings have been independently shown to bear the brunt of unpaid care for parents—ringing in the costly reality of the eldest daughter’s tendency to take responsibility.
The disparity in gender roles at home accentuates global gender inequality. For example, in the Philippines, many mothers migrate elsewhere to find work—leaving the eldest daughter as a “surrogate” mother for the household, according to Hu.
While eldest daughters take on parentification of younger siblings, the oldest son embarks on “strategic brothering” which is valuable for future careers, The Atlantic said.
A Swedish study on first-born males found they were 30 per cent more likely than their younger siblings to become CEOs or politicians. Another study found eldest boys received more scrutiny from parents when completing tasks like homework, benefiting from a phenomenon called “strategic parenting.”
Although the first-born daughter likely reaps similar benefits from strategic parenting, older brothers often showed dominance and leadership over younger siblings, who looked to creative ways to prove themselves—leading them to embark on creative careers in the future.
Corrections
A previous version of this article incorrectly spelled Adam Felts’ last name. Incorrect information appeared in the March 22 issue of The Queen’s Journal.
The Journal regrets the error
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